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A Girl In A Place No One Wants To Visit! [entries|friends|calendar]
The Random Sickness I Come Up With!

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Pieces of me... [21 Feb 2005|11:20am]
[ mood | excited ]

Ok this entry was going to be my bitch's but something happened to me on the way home from school that changed that you will have to click the link below to find out :P

The Innocent Things That Touch Us...Collapse )

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NATIONAL HUG DAY in the USA [21 Jan 2005|07:04am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

HUGE ASS HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! small little HUGS HUGS HUGS........ LLLLLLLLLLOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG relaxing HHUUGGSS!!!!!!!!! Whatever kind of hug you like just figure you have gotten it! Whether you live in the states or not! YOU HAVE JUST BEEN HUGGED!

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THIS is just a part of a song I like alot! [31 Dec 2004|11:38am]
[ mood | crazy ]

and i wonder why i bother,and i wonder why i cry, and i wonder why i try, SCREAMS i do it for the drugs i do it for the love at the bottom of the bottle i do it to feeel allliveeee* omg i love that song!

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[27 Dec 2004|04:54pm]
[ mood | cold ]

paranoia parania everybodys out to get me!
p.s. off to doc tomorrow!

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MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [17 Dec 2004|11:15am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I am off to Indiana today for those of you who didn't know that! I will be back on the 23rd! But I might not be back on the computer tell the 27th, and then I will be gone on the 28th for a mandatory doc's appointment! Well anyways I must leave work now, so HAPPY HOLIDAYS! *hugs* love yall all!

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QUOTE FROM THE RADIO! [15 Dec 2004|09:57am]
[ mood | giggly ]

Porn is like duct tape, it fix's everything!

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[14 Dec 2004|04:38pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

I am very very sad right now!

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[13 Dec 2004|05:48pm]
[ mood | guilty ]

Why do the good things always happened to the bad people and the bad things happen to the good people? I freaking hate that, but I guess thats fate telling us something, and I also guess by knowing my you take a chance in having something bad happen to you cause I have horrible luck! I must have done something horrible to pissed someone up their or I don't pray enough! Or something....

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[11 Dec 2004|09:51am]
[ mood | crushed ]

Everything we do affects someone else.......

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[09 Dec 2004|11:39am]
[ mood | crushed ]

I HATE GUYS, sorry its true! (I even sometimes cant stand the guys that I like or even love or almost love lmao) Right now I just want to strangle this one guy! I just can't believe how guys can say one thing and do another like OMG your so great and I like you so much, but I can't take the time to do one simple thing! Uh I hate that so much, and it comes at like the worse time when I really need him, grrrrr well I guess thats the end of my careing for him lol cause I FUCKING HATE THAT SHIT, and I have realized a while back that I don't EVER have to take it or EVER want to take it, I would rather be alone for the rest of my life, cause at least alone you can do what you want to lol, AND have fun doing it lol! Sorry I have issues w/guys if you cant notice lol.

But, in other news, my finals are over today, so far I have failed one class and passed one class, waiting on the outcome of the other, but I pretty much think I failed it which means I am going to be taking the MOTHER FREAKERS that I failed AGAIN grrrrrrrrrrrr such a waste of money but I have to have them!

Leaving for Indiana in T minus 8 days and a couple of hours! Yeah for me so that I can freeze my butt off lol, but it is better than being in this office all day lol! But I will get to throw snow balls and slide down the snow hills and hurt myself again, so maybe it will be awesome lol..............

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[07 Dec 2004|03:06pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Well today was hmmmmmmm, different! I talked to my TTTTTTTTT I missed her so much!!!!!!!!!! And yet again a friend tried the damn suicide thing but this time I bitched at her, hopefully before she got the drugs, but all I can see is the computer so how do I really know? And then I have a major headache, but oh well lol. And my New C.D. I just bought already has scratchs on it *insert bad words here* ........... And how do you go about apoligizing to someone that you don't think you did anything wrong to? And even if I didn't do anything wrond I still wan't to appologize to that person cause I miss that person :( for some reason I just don't think he or she wants to talk to me anymore! Oh well I guess thats the life in the big city I can not control anyone's feelings lol I can hardly control my own feelings! Anyway I am off for today I guess!

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A Simple Entry A.K.A. Bitchfest [28 Nov 2004|04:17pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

So mom has been sick all day yesterday and today, sick as in puking, and I STILL haven't finished doing either paper or started studying for my micro test :( oh well lol I guess this semester is shit, neways today has been useless except that my kids (in sunday school) were absolutely perfect so I spoiled them and gave them candy for no reason lol they made me smile and that comes less and less theses days and as Christmas approaches I am sure my mind set will get worse lol I AM SUCH A GRINCH but I do love to give gifts *insert semi-smile* anyways must get back to trying to do the paper.............. lol NOT but I do need to go lol

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[27 Nov 2004|05:24pm]
[ mood | rejected ]

oh yeah 4 pounds heavier and $200 lighter lol, i hope the weight is mainly from the period lol but who knows??????????????? oh yeah I LOVE TO SHOP lol, and just about hate everything else.......

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Missing You......... [27 Nov 2004|04:51pm]
[ mood | distressed ]

I miss you.

I miss seeing you.

I miss talking to you.

I miss the things you do for me.

The things you say that make me laugh.

The things that make me smile.

The things that make me think.

The things that make me cry.

I just miss you.

Everything about you!


I just wrote this, I was sleeping and woke up to write this, and now I am supposed to be doing homework research for a paper but of course my mind is wondering and I cant do it I have a headache and I just can't bring myself to do it lol..... But I am terribly missing some people and someone who every time I think about it brings tears to my eyes cause I cant talk to that person (plus its that damn monthly time which I am confused about but wont go into that lol), neways enough of that, thanksgiving went ok lol their were 3 annoying men their, dad was annoying but only hit me in the face once but he was playing w/me (he will never grow up) and I ate manly fruit and turkey so I didn't do to bad, and this side (mom's side) didn't save anything for us (yes) so I was very glad.. So I guess I am off for today.

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THANKSGIVING [24 Nov 2004|06:43am]
[ mood | cold ]

SO I AM GOING TO BE GONE FOR 4 days, omg 4 WHOLE days w/o the net LMAO *gasps* oh well i also have to hope i wont fight w/my dad, but at least i will get to see my grandma and cousin w/her baby and my stepsisters babies :) and stupid tim (stepgrandpa) who is always drunk lmao and my aunt :) and stepmom OMG and her macarooni and cheese *insert drool here* AND I SHALL SHOP TILL I DROP yep yep that all ways makes me happy lol, but i shall be back monday if i am in one piece love steph

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NOT SO HAPPY TUBESDAY [23 Nov 2004|06:44am]
[ mood | nauseated ]

so it seems that i have lost another friend..............shall not say anything other than that

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[22 Nov 2004|10:56am]
[ mood | discontent ]

i feel sick every time someone stairs at me cause i know they are looking at the fatness.......or wondering why i still eat instead of not skipping more meals.......or why i dont put more clothes on to cover myself up..........or why i cant just not be as pathetic and be more strong willed


so i now i have posted stuff all day today but this is how i feel today

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ANOTHER POEM lol [22 Nov 2004|07:39am]
[ mood | crazy ]

SO........... I wrote this for someone but i shall not say that someones name good thing that person never reads this, LMFAO good thing no one does

I am sorry for the way I am.

I am sorry for the way you are.

I am sorry for the way things must be.

I AM SORRY FOR LIFE ITSELF.....

I wish I could take all the hurt in you and bottle it up in me.

My wish for you is to have a happy, long, and safe life.

So take this sorry with a smile and know that I love you.

I love you everyday and all day forever.


so.....I think I have officially gone crazy but I just decided to say WTF and post it lol but I wrote it so I decided to post it

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A Poem [21 Nov 2004|07:31am]
[ mood | geeky ]

I look in the mirror and what do I see?

A distorted image of what I used to be...

What happened to me?

Where did the cool, confident, fun loving, exciting, and smart girl go?

I believe that black hole of my life sucked me up and made me this.........

This Fat, Ugly, Stupid, Boring, Annoying, person who no one wants to talk to.

So who should I be?

Fat, Thin, Tall, Short, Beautiful, Ugly, Smart, or Stupid???????

Maybe one day I will find me, the TRUE ME.

Written by me (blah)

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ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST [18 Nov 2004|11:47am]
so..... someone else i knew died and her funeral was yesterday..............


life is short, i guess i better get living cause i don't know/care when my number will be up..................
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